7.9.09 -- *Shoots Self For Randomness* XP
Yep, 'random' title as can be. I seriously owe Rixie a biggie for all her strange but totally welcomed influence on me--thanks dearie!! (lol, never called you that before, huh Ame? XP). She may or may not proceed to glomp or shoot me now, though I personally shall hope for neither, despite the unlikelyhood of it being neither less she never read my blog again--mwahaha!
Okay, back down to Terra people. *clears throat*. It's time to key in on a rather solemn note. Prepare yourselves everyone, I feel a tragic rant session coming on, starting....now:
So I'm sill witnessing the get-togethers and moving-ons of some of my friends; pretty much through means of the internet though. And while I am sure that the prospects of being 'alone' are not bothering me at the moment, something else is...
It's been almost a month now since my 'weird' night--like anyone remembers anyway. An unforgettable conversation shared with a persona I consider 'friend', whom now I have no idea what to think of.
I'll admit I was somewhat blur that night, maybe from lack of sleep? No, I can't possibly blame that. I'm as blind and clueless as a bat when it comes to advances of the heart--I know I am, no one be trying to prove me otherwise. Believe me when I say I'd probably never realize if a person liked me or was even flirting with me unless they maybe spelled it out for me, point blank: "I like you!" *stares meaningfully, rolls eyes* "Yes, in 'that' way!"
Hah! Now everyone knows I'm a hopeless romantic! Yay me! (non-enthusiastically spoken/written).
Back to the point. I think...I was actually confessed to...*ponders uncertainly*. Yeah, I had to repetitively recollect that conversation several times, words spoken, possible meanings behind each one to even come to that conclusion--if it even is a conclusion. I even asked for Rixie's perspective by typing out part of the conversation for her to read. Her reaction...honestly left me in an even bigger panic (lol) cause she saw what I had completely missed when I partook in said conversation. I clearly mistook every-darn-thing for 'friendship' that night. Heck even now I have my doubts if I'm merely reading too into this...
What if it was a confession? What if it wasn't? But I specifically remember the words "like you alot" in there! O_O
And now I'm too scared to ask. Too scared to admit I probably missed the whole point. To top things over it seems he's been avoiding me lately; or so it feels like he is. Either that or he's just too busy or having family problems or that with the computer again. Truthfully speaking I don't like this avoidance and not speaking thing. It's weird. Sure it's gone on longer than the present before (not speaking that is) though then it was usually stuff like exams and actual...I don't know...problems?
Why though? What did I say? Or do? I really don't have any idea--yep, blurgirl here *raises hand*. Was it the nature of how our last conversation panned out and ended?
Well, regardless I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait things through. Who knows, maybe there is some kind of situation going on? Meh, he'll have to clue me in sooner or later anyway. I really just wanna breach the weirdness.
Ah well, you know, when it all boils down to it, I've been down this road before, once back in high school. Similar situation, only then it never progressed to...a confession? Yeah, I need to stop being so darn innocent and start noticing how people are behaving towards me. I'm clearly missing the few chances I get here (lol)!
Rant over people, I'm out! Peace~
The rest is still unwritten...
