The Diva

20.10.19 -- Can't believe this blog still exists!!

My childhood right here.

Just testing out some shiz, peeps~

Hmm...

Guess it's official -- blogger's too old now and I ain't used to it XP

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29.1.11 -- Shameless Advertising (ver. Okie)

This blog is pretty much history but since it's still on the web...

Please follow us if you have a heart (lol)! ^^

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-- Shameless Advertising (ver. Okie)

Until time me has to properly edit this and revive this blog, here we go~

Please follow us (lol)! ^^

The rest is still unwritten...

17.5.10 -- S.A.D.

What Is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety is the third largest psychological problem
in the world today...

A woman hates to stand in line in the grocery store because she's afraid that everyone is watching her. She knows that it's not really true, but she can't shake the feeling. While she is shopping, she is conscious of the fact that people might be staring at her from the big mirrors on the inside front of the ceiling. Now, she has to talk to the person who's checking out her groceries. She tries to smile, but her voice comes out weakly. She's sure she's making a fool of herself. Her self-consciousness and anxiety rise to the roof...

Another person sits in front of the telephone and agonizes because she's afraid to pick up the receiver and make a call. She's even afraid to call an unknown person in a business office about the electric bill because she's afraid she'll be "putting someone out" and they will be upset with her. It's very hard for her to take rejection, even over the phone, even from someone she doesn't know. She's especially afraid to call people she does know because she feels that she'll be calling at the wrong time -- the other person will be busy -- and they won't want to talk with her. She feels rejected even before she makes the call. Once the call is made and over, she sits, analyzes, and ruminates about what was said, what tone it was said in, and how she was perceived by the other person....her anxiety and racing thoughts concerning the call prove to her that she "goofed" this conversation up, too, just like she always does. Sometimes she gets embarrassed just thinking about the call.

A man finds it difficult to walk down the street because he's self-conscious and feels that people are watching him from their windows. Worse, he may run into a person on the sidewalk and be forced to say hello to them. He's not sure he can do that. His voice will catch, his "hello" will sound weak, and the other person will know he's frightened. More than anything else, he doesn't want anyone to know that he's afraid. He keeps his eyes safely away from anyone else's gaze and prays he can make it home without having to talk to anyone.

A man hates to go to work because a meeting is scheduled the next day. He knows that these meetings always involve co-workers talking with each other about their current projects. Just the thought of speaking in front of co-workers raises his anxiety. Sometimes he can't sleep the night before because of the anticipatory anxiety that builds up. Finally, the meeting is over. A big wave of relief spills over him as he begins to relax. But the memory of the meeting is still uppermost in his mind. He is convinced he made a fool of himself and that everyone in the room saw how afraid he was when he spoke, and how stupid he acted in their presence. At next week's meeting, the boss is going to be there. Even though this meeting is seven days away, his stomach turns raw with anxiety and fear floods over him again. He knows that in front of the boss he'll stammer, hesitate, his face will turn red, he won't remember what to say, and everyone will witness his embarrassment and humiliation. He has seven miserable days of anxiety ahead of him -- to think about it, ruminate over it, worry about it, over-exaggerate it in his mind.......again and again and again.....

A student won't attend her university classes on the first day because she knows that in some classes the professor will instruct them to go around the room and introduce themselves. Just thinking about sitting there, waiting to introduce herself to a roomful of strangers who will be staring at her makes her feel nauseous. She knows she won't be able to think clearly because her anxiety will be so high, and she is sure she will leave out important details. Her voice might even quiver and she will sound scared and tentative. The anxiety is just too much to bear---so she skips the first day of class to avoid the possibility of having to introduce herself in class.

Another young man wants to go to parties and other social events---indeed, he is very, very lonely---but he never goes anywhere because he's very nervous about meeting new people. Too many people will be there and crowds only make things worse for him. The thought of meeting new people scares him---will he know what to say? Will they stare at him and make him feel even more insignificant? Will they reject him outright? Even if they seem nice, they're sure to notice his frozen look and his inability to fully smile. They'll sense his discomfort and tenseness and they won't like him --- there's just no way to win --- "I'm always going to be an outcast," he predicts. And he spends the night alone, at home, watching television again. He feels comfortable at home. In fact, home is the only place he does feel completely comfortable. He hasn't gone anywhere else in twelve years.

In public places, such as work, meetings, or shopping, people with social anxiety feel that everyone is watching, staring, and judging them (even though rationally they know this isn't true). The socially anxious person can't relax, "take it easy", and enjoy themselves in public. In fact, they can never fully relax when other people are around. It always feels like others are evaluating them, being critical of them, or "judging" them in some way. The person with social anxiety knows that people don't do this openly, of course, but they still feel the self-consciousness and judgment while they are in the other person's presence. It's sometimes impossible to let go, relax, and focus on anything else except the anxiety and fear. Because the anxiety is so very painful, it's much easier just to stay away from social situations and avoid other people altogether.

Many times people with social anxiety simply must be alone---closeted---with the door closed behind them. Even when they're around familiar people, a person with social anxiety may feel overwhelmed and have the feeling that others are noticing their every movement and critiquing their every thought. They feel like they are being observed critically and that other people are making negative judgments about them.

One of the worst circumstances, though, is meeting people who are "authority figures". Especially people such as bosses and supervisors at work, but including almost anyone who is seen as being "better" than they are in some respect. People with social anxiety may get a lump in their throat and their facial muscles may freeze up when they meet this person. The anxiety level is very high and they're so focused on "not failing" and "giving themselves away" that they don't even remember what was said in the conversation. But later on, they're sure they must have said the wrong thing.....because they always do.

How is it ever possible to feel "comfortable" or "natural" under these circumstances?

To the person with social anxiety, going to a job interview is pure torture: you know your excessive anxiety will give you away. You'll look funny, you'll be hesitant, maybe you'll even blush, and you won't be able to find the right words to answer the questions coherently. Maybe this is the worst part of all: You know that you are going to say the wrong thing. You just know it. It is especially frustrating because you know you could do the job well if you could just get past this terrifying and intimidating interview.

Welcome to the world of the socially anxious.

Social anxiety is the third largest psychological problem in the United States today. This type of anxiety affects 15 million Americans in any given year. Unlike some other psychological problems, social anxiety is not well understood by the general public or by medical and mental health care professionals, such as doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, social workers, and counselors. In fact, people with social anxiety are misdiagnosed almost 90% of the time. People with social phobia come to our anxiety clinic labeled as "schizophrenic", "manic-depressive", "clinically depressed", "panic disordered", and "personality disordered", among other damaging misdiagnoses.

Because few socially-anxious people have heard of their own problem, and have never seen it discussed on any media, such as the television talk shows, they think they are the only ones in the whole world who have these terrible symptoms. Therefore, they must keep quiet about them. It would be awful if everyone realized how much anxiety they experienced in daily life. Then what would people think about them? Unfortunately, without some kind of education, knowledge, and appropriate treatment, social phobia/social anxiety continues to wreak havoc throughout their lives. Adding to the dilemma, when a person with social anxiety finally gets up the nerve to seek help, the chances that they can find it are very, very slim.

Making the situation more difficult is that social anxiety does not come and go like some other physical and psychological problems. If you have social anxiety one day......you have it every day for the rest of your life.....

The feelings I described to you at the beginning of the article are those of people with social anxiety disorder. That is, their symptoms apply to most social events and functions in almost every area of life. I suffered from social anxiety myself for twenty years before I ever saw the term or read about its symptoms in a book. (The first book that specifically dealt with social phobia was not published until the 1990's.)

As with all problems, everyone with social anxiety has slightly different secondary symptoms. Some people, for example, cannot write in public because they fear people are watching and their hand will shake. Others are very introverted and they find it too difficult to hold down a job. Still others have severe anxiety about eating or drinking in the presence of other people. Some people with social anxiety feel that a certain part of their body (such as the face or neck) are particularly "strange looking" and vulnerable to being stared at. Others experience a muscle spasm (usually around the neck and shoulders) and it becomes the center of their focus ---"it's so embarrassing that if someone sees it I will be humiliated forever!"

One thing that all socially anxious people share is the knowledge that their thoughts and fears are basically irrational. That is, people with social anxiety know that others are really not critically judging or evaluating them all the time. They understand that people are not trying to embarrass or humiliate them. They realize that their thoughts and feelings are somewhat exaggerated and irrational. Yet, despite this rational knowledge, they still continue to feel differently.

It is these automatic "feelings" and thoughts that occur around social situations that must be met and conquered in therapy. Usually these anxious feelings are tied to thoughts that are entwined in a vicious cycle of negative expectations and negative appraisals. It is a catch-22 situation: there is no way out without the appropriate therapy.

Here comes the good part.

How can social anxiety be treated? Many therapeutic methods have been studied, but cognitive-behavioral therapy is the only modality that has been shown to work effectively. In fact, treatment of social anxiety through cognitive-behavioral methods has the capacity to produce long-lasting, permanent relief from the anxiety-laden world of social anxiety.

Social anxiety responds to relatively short-term therapy, depending on the severity of the condition. I have seen significant progress in just twelve individual sessions, although most people respond better with sixteen to twenty-four meetings. To overcome social anxiety, completion of a behavioral therapy group is also essential (when people feel ready for this and not before).

What socially anxious people do not need is years and years of therapy or counseling. You can't be "counseled" out of social phobia. In fact, socially anxious people who are taught to "analyze" and "ruminate" over their problems usually make their social anxiety and fears much worse, which in turn leads to depression, which just reinforces the fact that "I will never get better". (Shudder...this statement does NOT have to be true.)

THERE IS A BETTER LIFE FOR ALL PEOPLE WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY. Without treatment, social anxiety is a torturous and horrible emotional problem; with treatment, its bark is worse than its bite. Add to this that current research is clear that cognitive-behavioral therapy is highly successful in the treatment of social anxiety. In fact, the people who are unsuccessful are the ones who are not persistent in their practice and who won't stick with simple methods and techniques at home. They are the ones who give up.

If a person is motivated to end the years and years of crippling anxiety, then cognitive-behavioral treatment provides the methods, techniques, and strategies that come together to lessen the anxiety and make the world a much more enjoyable place.

Many of us have been through the crippling fears and constant anxiety that social phobia produces -- and have come out healthier and happier on the other side. You can too.

---Thomas A. Richards, Ph.D.
Psychologist

~O~

Source :: SP/SAA

Someone help me please...

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5.5.10 -- "Fate's Hand"

Doing a certain Ame-chan's story justice:
Fate's Hand

Somehow I'm wondering if I'm doing much of anything by putting links up here. There's always minimal proof anyone even reads this stuff. I've learnt what blogging really is a while back now and I'm pretty sure I know why, but hey, I do what I do, right? Plus there was always the good thing about not having anyone read some of the crap I write because that just means I don't have to worry about anything stupid getting out in the open.

When one's famous, things just get hectic -- constant surveilance takes away that freedom to be 'normal'. Guess that just means I'm one of the few people who may actually BE 'normal' in this world. But hey, I guess society always chooses to look at the masses to see what's normal and what's not -- Holocaust? (heck I never learnt World History) O.o

*sighs* I've so gotten sidetracked now! Gah, been reading too much. It's really fascinating, mind-blowing stuff though; gets you thinking about the way you 'act' in public and all. About how we've all been taught and conditioned to behave a certain way in social situations...I should really just start on my essays.

PS :: I think it's great how her (Ame-chan's) dad is following the story along too. Meh, not like my dad probably wouldn't -- sure he hates the genres I usually write in but my dad almost always makes exceptions for me. Makes me questions things about being a parent sometimes...

Ah, but of course my dad's an even greater perfectionist than I am when it comes to the written language. He might try to beta everything to the point it isn't even my writing anymore, pffft! XD

The rest is still unwritten...

27.4.10 -- "The Place I'll Return to Someday"

Now if anyone didn't know what talent was before, well here's a clear example:

That girl is pure awesomeness. She has a bit of choir experience and plays a plathora of musical instruments but other than that I believe she's picked up all her amazing skills completely on her own *hails katethegreat19*.

If anyone's paid any attention to one of my few recent posts (scroll down) on dubs, you might remember the 14-girl-choir I mentioned, 'Stella Voci'. Well? Do you? Hmph, well if you do and actually looked their members up after being mesmorized by 'Scarborough Fair', you'd realize that Kate's the leader of that very outstanding bunch of amateur-vocalists. Why amateur? Because they have miraculously missed the notice of professionals for a recording contract -- seriously, there are some AMAZING people on Youtube!!!

But anyways, Final Fantasy Fans might recognize the melody of the song she's singing in that embed video; Final Fantasy 9 fans in particular (as if the accompanying scenes from the game weren't clue enough).

On a side note, FF9 is still possibly my favorite of the FF series thus far in terms of characters. Sure many people weren't all too cool with their somewhat cartoon-ish appearances but I think those people really just have to not judge something based on appearance alone. Fact is, it goes much deeper than that. Not only was the story interesting and touching from beginning to end, FF9 had some of the most memorable characters of the entire franchise in my opinion. Zidane was possibly the most alive lead character I've encountered through my plays of the various game titles. Then there are characters like Vivi and Dagger (heh, haven't figured out where the 'Dagger' in my username came from yet?) who's stories are almost as moving as Zidane's themselves -- I could so play through this game again when I get home in June.

FF9 is probably the first game of the franchise (again in my opinion) that appears to have a really happy ending; no weird-funky-creepy-confusing stuff like in FF7 and FF8. They really gave us gamers the closure we needed for this game, though that's probably the reason why it's sort of slipped into the background now in comparison with the former two games of the series. Heck I personally even think it has the best soundtrack out of the entire franchise of games thus far (yes that includes the PS2 and presently-only PS3 FFs). Maybe not to the liking of everyone out there but it's just classic beauty to me. Of course, if you're listening to Kate's singing right now you'd so agree with me on this. Lyrics are epic-beautiful too:

"Look into the sky

Can you see the moon across the ocean
Coming close to me
I can hear the melody

Cry into the void
Let my voice become the hand that reaches
Out to you and leads
To my long lost memory

Carry me home

I lost my way on roads ever weaving
Home
Where darkness fades and hearts are ever believing
Carry me home
I close my eyes and cling to you ever dreaming
Find me
Oh don't forget the child for whom you are grieving

Voice that calls from there
And the footsteps of its fallen angels
Now becomes the beat
Of my heart so incomplete

Every night I bathe
In the blue that washes over me
And brings me to my knees
In this longing I believe

Carry me home
I lost my way on roads ever weaving
Home
Where darkness fades and hearts are ever believing
Carry me home
I close my eyes and cling to you ever dreaming
Find me
Oh don't forget the child for whom you are grieving"

Those who've played should be able to grasp what the song's talking about and who's POV it likely is -- actually, it's pretty darn clear.

Originally an instrumental-only composition of the infamous Nobou Uematsu (I will so marry whoever brings me to see 'Distant Worlds' at least once in my freaking life!!), Kate's self-written lyrics seemed to really capture (yes I'll just tell you) Zidane's feelings regarding the search for his home, the other world Terra. I really REALLY love this rendition. The girl is practically the epitome of talented! Let it be known she played all the instruments in this and sang all the harmonies herself~

Meh, I should just turn my blog into a dubbing central for my personal use. I'll probably shift things over to a new Wordpress something when I find the time later on. Till then! ^^

~O~

CREDITS:
Music composed by: Nobuo Uematsu
sung and arranged by: katethegreat19
lyrics written and copyrighted 2008 by:
Kate Covington / katethegreat19
clips from Final Fantasy IX, owned by: Squaresoft/SquareEnix

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25.4.10 -- Dead Fantasy Idols

Can I totally worship montyoum? Heck why am I even asking. Seriously, the dude's got it going on with all the Dead Fantasy episodes. And just when I thought it couldn't get any better he does stuff like these:

Song :: Obsessed
Artist :: Mariah Carey
FF Gals :: Tifa, Cissnei
DoA Gal :: Kasumi

And if that wasn't fun enough, he made one with the entire Dead Fantasy cast of females (minus Rachel from Ninja Gaiden):

Song :: Gee
Artist :: Girls Generation
FF Gals :: Cissnei, Tifa, Rinoa, Yuna, Rikku
DoA Gals :: Kasumi, Ayane, Hitomi
KH Girl :: Kairi

Haha, pretty awesome how the characters all went K-Pop on us!! XD

Totally worth the watch people. I so hope he does more of these stuff eventually. Can't wait for the next episode too!!

The rest is still unwritten...